metaphor

every morning I wake up taking my first breath underwater and fidgeting with a blade at my wrist
whether this is metaphoric or not I still have not made up my mind about
my love is not for you
it exists only in a past time to your former self
your yesterday and your tomorrow are both darkness
the former, the latter, the now
they stand tall in the face of giants we could have never faced together
the mountains weep
the stars tremble
as love dissipates
every bird participates
I cannot yet explain this melody my heart creates
but I know this
I heard once that nothing is real but love
I know now
that nothing real is love
I wake up every morning with indentations
around my neck
I breathe in the salty ocean air that rests only behind my eyelids
I know this can never last
I know this will never be
there is no hope for people made of paper
and rings incomplete
wedding bells never sounded so silent
or streets looked so grim
I see you
you stand beneath lights that once signaled my return home
now denying your every pass at humanity
I see you
cold-blooded killer
my dreams nestled in your shoulder
like the bullets in mine
I believe my metaphor died when you did