wanderer

I have changed my identity 1000 times
hidden pieces of myself in places you can never occupy
places you don’t even know exist
I’m a wanderer
attachment is not a concept I give into easily
or frequently
the space between my bones and my skin has become a safe one
curling up next to the shivering frame of my body in the nighttime
and when it’s only dark within my chest
my heart quivers in sunlight like a vampire
or a broken girl
he asked me why I struggled against him
I said because you can’t know me too well
then I moved across state lines because they knew me too well
solemn solitude has become my sole accomplice
walking lonely trails at dusk
praying I get lost in the vastness of the lonely
pulling myself away from connectedness
and grimly lit silhouettes of intimacy
I clawed myself out of the depths of hell
but when I reached for a hand to hold onto
I could only find mine